My First Christmas Holidays Without A Dad

For the first time, I have experienced what a lot of Americans has already faced and that is being without a dad during the christmas holidays.

Dad had alzheimer's disease for over 15 years, and September of 2012 he passed away from respiratory failure due to aspirating pneumonia.

Waking up this morning knowing that he was not here became very heavy  on my heart. I know there are many people who are facing this same problem during these holidays.

I just wanted to write to say I love you dad and miss you very much.

If this is your first holiday without a dad or mother just think and remember all the fun memories shared throughout the years.

For more on Alzheimer's caregiver visit http://caregiversremainingconnected.com

Can Someone Fake Having Dementia?

Now you may wonder why would I ask such a stupid question. Why would anyone in their right mind would want to fake having memory loss. Well, some are faking Dementia for attention , but that doesn't last long, because they won't be able to fool people that's always around them for long.But there is also another kind of faking Dementia, and that is a person having Dementia and trying to fool everyone that they are not having memory loss.

When a person starts losing their memory, they are the first to notice it. As the progression takes place most of them try to still be as independent as they can, because they notice what is happening to them. My father has had Alzheimer's for over 15 years, but when he first began to get symptoms of Dementia, he was capable of covering it up quite well.If a person he has known all of his life were to see him and he didn't quite recognized them right off, he would steer the conversation so the person could give him the information he needed to figure out things. It was only when he started repeating himself often that raised our attention that something was wrong.

Dementia has to be a very scary thing for elder's who are going through it. Not only elders, but anyone who has had head injuries. My nephew, who is 29 years old suffered a serious car accident back in 2003. The accident has had a very depressing affect on him because he wants to be as normal as possible.He has bad memory laspe on certain days where he will leave home walking and not know where he was going or how to get home.We are thankful we have neighbors that help us look out for him when this happens. I asked him does he know when he have those memory laspe, and he said yes he gets very confused at times.

When a person is pretending there is nothing wrong it's not like they are trying to cause harm, they are just scared of what's happening and don't know how people will treat them once it's found out.So many battered women do this. They go about their everyday life pretending that everything is ok, because they are afraid of what others will think.

Nobody knows their mother and father like their children. If they are being forgetful more than usual, but trying to cover it up with excuses, then you need to get them checked out. It was only when my dad started repeating himself often and then started putting on his clothes while still having on his pajamas , that we knew for a fact something was wrong.

There are always true signs of Dementia that will always give a person up who are trying to fake it. Pay attention when you start suspecting something is wrong.Not wanting to let others know something is wrong is a way for them to keep their independence.

Please check out my website below:
http://caregiversremainingconnected.com
http://alzheimerscaregiversblog.blogspot.com/2013/04/are-you-home-caregiver-and-you-believe.html
Get more information from this great book from former Tennessee Coach Pat Summitt

Caregiver Burden

Are you an at-home caregiver that has a loveone that is bedridden and you have to do everything for them? You are not alone. There are thousands of people who has taken on this responsibility.

I for one am a caregiver. I care for my dad, who has had Alzheimer's for over 15 years now. Over the past 6 years, he has needed 24 hr care because he lost all mobility and was not able to do for himself any longer.In 2010, I moved back into the house with my parents to help with his needs.

Well, my first 6 months, I was full steam ahead. From the cooking, to the cleaning, to the changing of his diaper, I was able to manage.But after 6 months, something begin to happen..I became exhausted,which lead to days when I felt like not wanting to do anything. But even though I was tired, what could I do? After all, he depends on me and I can't let him down.

Now, I have learned a few things over the past couple of years that has helped me.But the most important thing I learned was how many things I was doing all wrong, which lead to my exhaustion. Most time we believe it's the work that is wearing us down, but when you really think about it ,you realize that it's how you are doing things that are causing the wear and tear on you.

If you are doing things the WRONG WAY chances are you are doing it the HARD WAY.
For instant, when it came down to changing the diaper on my dad, I was lifting his legs up to put the diaper under him, and it was putting a big time strain on my back. After several weeks of doing this and my back becoming sore with each passing day,it became very difficult for me to do.I knew I couldn't do this for years to come so I had to find a way that was easier for me.When I found an easier way to do the job, it became much easier and less stressful to do and my back thanked me everyday for it.

So if you are getting exhausted taking care of your loveone, take a step back and see if you are doing things the hard way. Find an easier way to do what needs to be done to take the physical pressure off yourself. I always remind myself that a tired body will lead to frustration and frustration will lead me to second guessing myself of why I decided to do this, instead of placing him in a nursing facility, which was out of the question for me.

http://myparentalzheimers.blogspot.com/2012/06/do-you-have-emergency-plan-while-taking.html

Safety For Bedridden Alzheimer's Patients

Taking care of a bedridden person with alzheimer's disease spouse can be very stressful and sometime frustrating, but nothing compares to the joy that comes from it.The question I have is, could you get them to safety if an emergency came up?

For the past few years I have been taking care of my father who has had Alzheimer's for over 15 years. Regardless of how much work is involved, nothing else is as important. Now, my father is confined to the bed, so I have to do everything for him, including thinking like him. He has no speech or mobility, so I have to pay that much more attention.

A few weeks ago, I was getting ready to cut his hair. Normally I use the hoist to lift him from the bed and place him in the wheelchair to cut his hair. This particular time I didn't have the hoist because the battery had to be charged. The only alternative I had was to pick him up and place him in the chair. He is a small man (about 135lb) so how hard could this be,right? Well, I almost dropped him because I underestimated how heavy dead weight really is.
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After placing him in the chair, I couldn't understand why I strained to pick him up and carry him a couple of feet.I was a person who just a couple years ago worked out regularly.I cut his hair and got help to place him back in the bed, then proceeded to go outside to cook on the grill. That brings me to the subject of this article.

While getting the charcoals ready and seeing the flame, something scared the heck out of me. What if this was the house? Could I get my father out in a matter of 2-4 minutes? Not only that, but my mother is 82 yrs old and I have to worry about her.

At that moment I knew I had to come up with a emergency plan for different situations. 2 weeks ago I started running emergency drills with my mother and father. I always had it planned at night because I believe that is when we are more subjected to an emergency like a fire.

I would push the button on the fire detector and the drill began. The first 2 times were a disaster. If it would have been a fast moving flame, I couldn't have gotten them out.Even though my mind and heart kept saying you can do this, I just was not physically able to do it.Now even though this was stressing my mother out, I knew how important it was to get this right. Now I understand why rescue teams such as firemans and others have to go through hard training, because it's not as easy as it sounds.

By the end of the second week the drill was going smoother and I had my father in my arms and out on the porch in 3 minutes. So, you may wonder what I did different.... EXERCISED! I knew I had to build my strength and endurance, because what I learned from the drills was just how fast I got tired when going full speed.

So ,if you are a man/woman who is taking care of a disable person that has no mobility, you need to ask yourself, could you handle an emergency like a burning house.If the answer is no, you need to find a plan and execute that plan until you are comfortable that you can handle the emergency.

 This article is mainly to challenge those who have a disable spouse who has no mobility, but it is also for anyone who is a caregiver for the disable. If you have anything to add that may help someone feel free to leave it in the comment section. Thanks.

3 Suggestions A Caregiver Can Use

Being a full time at-home caregiver can bring on a lot of stress, which can lead to early burnouts, or just being frustrated.

When I first started caring for my father who has Alzheimer's a few years ago, I was full steam ahead.Nothing became as important as doing for him. Alone the way I lost myself. I became so engrossed in caring for him until I totally forgot about myself, and it lead to a slight depression and burnout.

About a year ago I began to change all of that by changing a few things. Here are my 3 suggestions if you are a caregiver experience frustration and burnout.

1. Don't be distant with your friends: Continuing to be social with friends is very key to maintaining a balance life when you are a at-home caregiver. Being a caregiver does not mean you can't have a life outside of it.This was one of the problems I had when I first started. Everytime a friend called and wanted to come by or maybe go grab something to eat, I always had an excuse not to go.Friends can really be emotional support you will find yourself needing one day.If you are this person, change that and start re-establishing your friendships.

2. Don't try to do everything in 1 day: This journey of caregiving requires endurance.I mean you could be doing this for 10-20 years ofyour life. Trying to get everything done before the day end can lead to getting stressed out. So what if you didn't fold the clothes up before the day was up. So what if you left 3 glasses in the sink overnight. We get into a routine that is so full of work that it becomes overwhelming and leads to anxiety.If you are this person, don't stress yourself about small stuff.

3.Getting Proper Sleep: Nothing is worse than getting up before the sun and not getting proper sleep. I'm not talking about getting rest. Getting rest and getting sleep is totally different. This was another one of my problems. When it was time to lie down for the night, my mind was always on something I should have done.Because of that ,my mind was not shutting down, and caused me to get inadequate sleep. If you are this person, try reading a book before bed to just take your mind off the day.It really can help your mind relax.

I have applied these 3 steps and more to maintain over the past year while taking care of my disabled father.I couldn't be more upbeat and less stressful than I am today.

If you are a caregiver please share a few of the thing you do to maintain this journey.

Alzheimer's Book Review And Why I Recommend It

Over the past few years, I have been a caregiver for my father who has Alzheimer's. He has had this disease for over 15 years now. Looking back over my journey and learning how to cope with the different things that comes along with this, the one thing I could say is that I wish I had was someone to tell me what and how to care for him.

Looking over the internet, you can find all kinds of medical advice on this disease, which is great, but what if you just need advice on how to care for your love one. Each person is different when it comes to this disease. Some scream a lot, refuse to take their medicine, wander off, and some are even combative. We as caregivers, especially if it is a parent and  you have always considered your mother/father as this strong individual that can't be touched, needs to understand how to really deal with the emotional and physical side of caregiving.

I have read several books on Alzheimer's and some gave me great insight, while others were not a help to me at all.

 This e-book that I am about to introduce to you now is from a gentlemen name John Dupree, who has Alzheimer's and decided to share his pain and suffering to encourage those who are about to deal with the same issues. He is the author of 3 books dealing with Alzheimer's Dementia.I came across this book while searching for information from people who had Alzheimer's and gave their personal experience, so I could better understand what goes on in the mind of a person who had just been diagnosed with the disease.

At first I was very skeptical purchasing the book because of all the fraud that goes on online. Eventually I purchased and downloaded the e-book.Wow, was I amazed at how detailed this book was! John gives you details of the battle that goes on in the mind when a person is first diagnosed with the disease and the things caregivers need to know when handling someone with the disease.Most of the things mentioned in the book I saw in my father during his early stages.

Mr. Dupree is donating 60% of the income received from his book to help further research for this terrible disease.If you wish to view and purchased a copy of this amazing book, just Click Here.I highly recommend it if you in the first stages of Alzheimer's/Dementia

Difference Between Alzheimers And Dementia

For years I have always viewed Alzheimer's Disease the same as Dementia.Come to find out even though they are similar they are not the same.

I have been taking care of my father now for the past couple years, and I'm still learning new things each week.He has had this disease for over 15 years and we as a family had no guide as to how to properly care for him.That is what encouraged me to start a blog on things I have learned so it may help someone else who needs information. Most of the information I come across is medical, but we as caregivers need something on how to cope with different things when taking care of someone with this disease.

So, exactly what is Dementia and Alzheimer's. After using the word Dementia for many weeks to the doctor that visits my father each week, he explained to me that he believed it was Alzheimer's that my father had and which is the leading cause of Dementia. Doctors can't be 100% sure a person has A.D. until a person pass away and a autopsy is done on the brain.

Dementia is not a disease, but  symptoms of a condition, while Alzheimer's is the cause of the symptom. Dementia is a collection of symptoms like behavior problems, forgetting how to solve problems,and memory loss, but the most prominent is Alzheimer's.Dementia lets you know that there is something wrong with the brain, but it does not tell you what it is that is causing it.There are many things that can cause this.For example,a person could be taking medicine and having a bad reaction to the medicine which can cause them to have memory loss(symptom), or lose the mind-set to do daily functions that they have been doing for years.We as family members began to think that they are just losing their mind when that may not be the case.If diagnosed properly and in time, a doctor can find out what the symptom  that is causing the patient to have this  memory loss.If it is determined that it's the medicine that is causing the symptom, it could be reversible if taken off the medication.So, medicine can be a symptom of why a person is acting differently or having memory loss.If taken off the medicine in time a person could go back to functioning their daily activities. But if this continues for a long period of time and the brain is damaged it could be irreversible.

Alzheimer's, on the other hand, is the cause of the symptoms you are having. Cells can clutter and cause (Amyloids)plaques in the brain tissue.A brain will not lose its function with one or two of these (Amyloid) plaques, but if you have a lot of plaques it can cause Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's is an actual disease that targets your brain and causes brain damage. The damage to the brain over a period of time causes memory loss, speech problems, and the ability to function everyday activities.Alzheimer's over time spreads throughout the brain which will lead to being disabled all together. There are treatments to slow the rate of the disease, but there is no cure for it.

Caringe For Alzheimer's Patient

Alzheimer's is a disease that has been running in my family since the early 80's. It has continued to be this way, even until today. My grandfather (father side) had this disease in the 80's. My father and I was his primary caregiver.Throughout the years, 4 out of 7 of my fathers brothers developed this disease, and now for the past 15 years my father has had this disease.

Now, for the past few years I have been taking care of my father.My mother refused to place him in a nursing home.She figured no person could care for him like his own family. He is in the later stage of the disease and has lost all communication and mobility.Everything must be done for him. After taking on this responsibilty I found out I didn't have a clue as to how much a person needed to know before doing this.


After knowing that this disease has been running in my family, I knew it was time that I did research on the chances of me or my other 4 brothers getting Alzheimer's later in life.There was no kind of hard proof that either my brothers or myself would developed this disease through genes.Still, I just wanted to know how to identify the symptoms of Alzheimers, and how to take better care for someone, especially in the early stages, since I don't know if I would have to do this again for one of my brothers.


When we found out about this disease affecting my father, we tried our best to find information on how to care for him.What we received was a lot of medical advise, which we had a family doctor for that.I needed to know more on how to care for him (changing,feeding,etc..).The only thing I could think of was call our local Elderly Care Facility and see if I could get hands on training on how to properly do the day to day tasks that needed to be done.Wow did I learn a lot.


For those who read this article and is a  newly at-home caregiver of a love one, you need to find out the proper ways of doing things because you can easily get burned out doing things the wrong way.



I hope this blog, which is a personal blog about my father's Alzheimer's, help someone who is caring for a love one. I offer no medical advise because I'm not a doctor. This is just a great way for me to share my journey.Thanks for reading!

Prevent Bedsores

Taking care of a person with Alzheimer's or who is disable is not an easy job at all.When a person is disabled or has a late stage of Alzheimer's Dementia, one of the functions that they lose is being able to care for themselves.

Alzheimer's Disease is really on the rise over the last two decade, but we as a people are not fully aware of how we need to properly care for them.The first thing we normally look for is a facility to put them in to care for them. That is great and all, but I just feel that noone will care for your love one like you.

You may wonder what do I know about this topic. Well, my father has had this terrible disease for over 15 years. Over the past few years, I have been his caregiver. After losing all mobility and functions of his limbs he was no longer able to care for himself.

With caregiving being so new to me or my family, we had no idea what to expect. Research on the computer only gave us clinical advise, which we consulted our doctor on that issue. What we needed was someone who had been through what we were about to be involved in. Taking my father to a nursing home was out of the question. My Mother would not have it.I came across a book. The book was by John Dupree, who was a researcher of Alzheimer's and wind up getting the disease himself.The information in his book was the best information I could have ever received.He gave insights on what possibly goes on in the mind of a person after finding out they have this disease.

One of the first things you would learn if you have a love one who has lost all mobility and confined to a bed is how quickly bedsores can develop.Through research, I learned how infection can easily set in through bedsores and depend on the age of a person, the infection can be very bad.You hear about a lot of bedsores on patients in nursing homes.

One of the things I do each and everyday is turn my father  every 4 hours during the day. After breakfast, he is turned on his left side and two hours later he is turned on his right side, then I place him on his back for two hours . Even though this is a lot of work it has prevented any bed sores from occuring.This not only prevents bedsores, but it keeps a person from hurting laying in one spot for so long. This procedure above is mainly for bedridden people that has lost all mobility and speech.

The second thing I do is make sure he is changed throughout the day.That is very, very, important because being wet or just not changed  for a long period of time and just lying in the bed is the quickest way to get bedsores.Even if have changed them, always check periodically to make sure they don't need changing again.

These are 2 ways to prevent bedsores from occuring. Hope this information was useful. If you can think of anything that may help someone, feel free to add it in the comment section.

Caregiver Needs Emotional And Physical Support

If you have never taken care of someone with Alzheimer's Dementia then you have no idea the amount of work that goes with it. First of all, I would like to commend those who instead of taking the easy road and putting their love one in a facility, has taken on the responsibility themselves.I myself have taken on this role.

My father has had this terrible disease for over 15 years, and for the past couple years I have been his caregiver.I'm still pretty young so I figured it shouldn't be a problem.Man was I wrong! Taking care of an elder with this disease is very stressful and without support can become very frustrating. Now don't get me wrong, it isn't like you don't love them just because you get frustrated, it just mean you need more support.

My first few months was going good. I was learning things that I needed to learn in order to care for his needs better thanks to a book I read, by John Dupree,which I will place a link to the book at the bottom of the page.I didn't ask for help from family members because I didn't think I needed help from them.That was what I thought!

After over a year, fatigue followed by frustration began to set in on me and I was standing alone trying to carry this huge responsibility.Keep in mind, this is not a 5 day a week job from 9-5, but this is 24/7 because they depend on you for everything. It is you who has to know when they are thirsty and hungry. It is you who has to know when they need changing.All of their needs are placed on you. Now all this applys when your love one just can't do for themselves and lacks communication.So this pertain to a later stage of Alzheimer's.

Whatever stage  your love one is in, you must find some support. Now whether this support is emotional or physical, it is important that you have it.

Emotional support you will find to be the second most important support you can have.Having a place to share your concerns and frustrations is very important, because it allows you to  free yourself of pinned-up emotions. When you have frustration building up inside and have no outlet, it could lead to anger or depression.If you have noone to talk too, I have found that a great place to vent out is finding a forum for Alzheimer's caregivers. There are lots of forums with people who have the same concerns that you share.Find one and share your concerns as well as maybe help someone else that has the same problems.

Physical support to me is the number one support that one needs in order to maintain taking care of a love one year after year. Being able to have a day to yourself, or at least a couple of hours where you can just have some me-time is very important.In order to care for someone that has this disease, especially if it's at a later stage, you must take care of yourself.Having some time away can refresh you to continue on.If you don't have a relative or close friend to give you a break once a week, there are facilities where you can take them for a couple of hours. Find one in your area for the disable and do some research and if you feel comfortable leaving your love one there, it can be a big help.

These are 2 supports that you will definitely need if you are going to care for someone with Alzheimer's or a disabled person.

If you are interested in the e-book, which I definetely encourage you to get, by John Dupree, just

Click Here

What Are The Options For Parent/Spouse With Alzheimer's Dementia In The First Stages

One of the biggest concerns most people who has developed Alzheimer's Dementia, is losing their independence. Taking care of yourself is a major part of a person existence. To lose that ability could be devastating.I imagine what is more scary is the fact that you not only could lose your independence, but love ones may not have the ability to care for you. The question is, what are the options you have concerning your love ones in the first stages of Alzheimer's. Here are 3 options you may want to consider if your love one is developing Alzheimer's.

1.Can You Be A Caregiver For Them. If you are thinking of caring for a love one with Alzheimer's, you have to be 100% sure you are able to do so. This task requires dedication and patience. Even though this may be in everyone's heart to care for their love ones, not everyone is capable.

2.Nursing Homes. If you are not able to care for your love ones, you may want to consider a Nursing Home. Some elders when they develop this disease become very combative and can have nasty behaviors. This can cause you not to be able to care for them like they need to be cared for. If that is the case, then you need to put them where there are trained staff members that handle these situations everyday.The downside to Nursing Facilities, at least the places I visited is, they are left alone a lot.

  3.In-House Caregiver. If you are financially able, this can be the best option to care for your love ones with Alzheimer's, if you are not able. This option allows you to still have hands-on activities with your love ones, while the professional caregiver takes care of their needs (bathing,clothing,feeding,etc..).This can eliminate them being kind of isolated in the Nursing Homes.

These are not all the options when determining how to handle a love one that has Alzheimer's.If you have someone you think is developing this disease, do your research and determine what options are best for you and your love ones.

My father has had this terrible disease for over 15 years and receives care from the family.I am his in-house caregiver in the day-time, while working at nights to care for my family.

If you have any good suggestion that may help someone who may have to make a decision in their love one care, please feel free to leave your suggestion in the comment section or start a discussion using the forum below.

At the link below you will find an Alzheimer's Researcher sufferer who shares his pain and gives hope to those who are going through or will go through this terrible disease. It is one of the best books I've read concerning this disease. Get yours today.

Click Here For Details

Finding Activities For Parent/Spouse In Early Stage Of Alzheimer's

When memory loss starts to affect someone, the first person to notice it is them. As time goes by and the symptoms gets worse, that's when family members or close friends become aware.When we think of this horrible disease called Dementia or Alzheimer's, those who are not familiar with it mostly think of the later stage, when a person are not able to care for themselves any longer.But what about the early stages?

My father has had this disease for over 15 years now, and he is at the stage where he can no longer do for himself.Even though his memory and mobility is gone, he is still alert.He  knows that a bowl means it's time to eat, and when I put a straw to his mouth he knows to drink.This lets me know he still has some association skills.But what about the early years!

When we first started noticing the changes in my father, we had no idea that it was Alzheimer's creeping in, even though his father had this disease.We just didn't think about it happening to him.Once we figured out what was happening, we started asking for advise from people who had been through it. One of the key things everyone was telling us was, keeping them active.No one can imagine losing your total independence like that.

Since my father loved to build things, take rides, fish, and do other outdoor activities, my brothers and I tried to keep him involved in those activities. We wanted to make him feel like he was still involved in the things he loved, even though it was limited.It was one of the most important things we could have done.For one, it made us open our eyes to see that this was not going to last long, and to really, and I mean really, cherish every moment.

So if you have someone that is in the early stages of this disease, keep them active in the activities they once loved. If it's your mother and she love the kitchen, let her pass things to you, or participate in making her favorite pies. This will make them feel some sort of independence, and trust me, you will loved the little time you have with them.

There is a book that I purchased from John Du Preez,a person who shares his hurts in dealing with this disease. He is actually a person with the disease and wrote the book to give hope to those who care forare, or will be going through this disease. The book is $10.45 and you can purchase it at the link below.
 Click Here